The Skulduggery Pleasant Holiday
by Carita Arorangi
Summary: The Skulduggery Pleasant go on holiday to Valkyrie/Gordon's villa in Spain.  Valkyrie's about fourteen in this...
1. Chapter 1

**The Skulduggery Pleasant Holiday**

Tanith Low dragged a suitcase to white van, and slouched against it panting.

"Why did I have to take China's suitcase?" she panted.

"Because none of us wanted to." replied Skulduggery Pleasant, grunting slightly as he hoisted two black suitcases that said 'Property of Fletcher Renn' on it.

Tanith rolled her eyes and yelled "Fletcher! Why can't you take your **own** suitcase?"

Fletcher emerged from Skulduggery's house with a JD sports bag slung over his shoulder.

"Because I was fixing my travel bag for the plane ride." He replied shortly.

"Someone afraid of planes?" teased Valkyrie Cain, strolling out with her black suitcase.

She frowned and pouted slightly, "I still don't know if I should keep the reflection with my parents **and **Alice."

"Well, too late now, I've already paid for your plane ticket." said Skulduggery, turning his skull to her.

Valkyrie stuck out her tongue. China Sorrows came out of the house, followed by Ghastly Bespoke saying "I've always wanted to go to Spain."

"Well, I've thanked Gordon about the villa," grinned Valkyrie, motioning to the van.

"You're bringing him along?" asked Fletcher blinking.

"Yeah, I mean, he said he'd enjoy it seeing as there is zero chance of him getting sunburn and mosquito bites."

"Smart man," laughed Ghastly.

Skulduggery stood in front of the van and studied everyone.

"Alright." He said clapping his hands, "Everyone gone to the loo?"

"Yes," chorused everyone.

"Everyone got everything they need?"

Valkyrie frowned. "Where's my wash bag?"

"With Tanith's." replied Skulduggery, he walked up and down like an army sergeant, "Right. We are ready to go!"

Valkyrie whooped, and got inside the van, snagging the passenger seat. China climbed inside the van gracefully, followed by Ghastly and Tanith and Fletcher.

"Are you all excited?"

Everyone turned their heads to Valkyrie's seat. Echo-Gordon beamed up at them.

"Always wanted to go to Spain."

"Good for you," grumbled Fletcher.

Valkyrie sighed. "Fletcher, the van hasn't even started moving and you're **already** moaning?"

"Yes."

"Why?" asked Ghastly.

"Because I've never been to Spain and I can't teleport you all there. Instead we have to go to an airport, wait four hours, **then** go on a freaky plane that can explode and wait another four hours to get to Spain!"

"The travel is the best bit." Said Tanith, pumping her fist in the air.

Valkyrie grinned, "Floor it Pleasant!"

An hour an a half later, China groaned delicately and leaned her head against the window.

For the last half hour, Skulduggery and Valkyrie had been arguing about what station the radio should go on.

"Radio 1!" exclaimed Valkyrie; she flicked the button and LMFAO 'Party Rock Anthem,' shot out of the speakers. Tanith and Fletcher immediately started to bop their heads.

"Classic FM," said Skulduggery and he flicked another switch. 'Ride of The Valkyrie's' started to play and Fletcher yelled, "Valkyrie it's your theme tune!"

"Shut the flip up," snapped Valkyrie.

Half an hour later, they had reached Dublin Airport.

"We're here…" said Tanith ominously. China got out of the Van and immediately three men waddled over to her, then another three.

"Uh," said Valkyrie, "We should probably get out of here."

Skulduggery got the rest of the suitcases out and barked "Now!"

All of them bolted away from them toward the entrance.

"Whew." said Fletcher.

"Why'd you have to be too beautiful?" asked Ghastly.

Tanith turned her head slowly to Ghastly, her eyes burning holes.

"I didn't mean it like that!" stammered Ghastly.

"Awkward…." sang Fletcher.

"Its fake beauty." tried Ghastly.

China rolled her eyes, "Whatever your thinking Mr Bespoke, its all you."

Tanith sniffed but there was a faint smile on her face.

Ghastly and Skulduggery activated their façades and strolled to the line.

"This part is so tiresome." sighed China, waltzing behind Skulduggery.

"Howdy!" said a high voice. The crew looked to their left and groaned.

Billy-Ray Sanguine stood in the line next to them.

"Don't tell me ya'll goin to France too!"

"We're not." said Valkyrie shortly.

"Well where?"

"Why would we tell you," growled Tanith.

"Lemme guess, some sorta holiday?" Sanguine grinned flashing his white teeth, "Say no more."

His line moved out of sight.

Skulduggery sighed, "Hopefully we won't bump into **him** again."

They reached the front of the line and approached a beaming woman at the counter.

"Weigh your bags here sir."

Skulduggery weighed his suitcase.

"Very light sir," said the woman cheerfully.

"I don't need much," replied Skulduggery.

"Okay, put your suitcase here." said the woman, "Next please, are you all together?"

"Yes," said Ghastly approaching the woman. He placed his suitcase on the platform.

"You're a body builder?" asked the woman raising her eyes at Ghastly.

"Actually he's a tailor." corrected Tanith. She looked at the woman, reading her name tag, "Sue."

Sue grinned. " You're his girlfriend then?"

"Yeah," said Tanith, placing her suitcase down.

"On a romantic getaway?"

Tanith laughed once, "With this lot?"

"Hey!" cried Fletcher.

China came up next, primly set down her suitcase, and ignored any conversation that Sue tried to strike up.

Valkyrie strolled up, "It's more like a holiday from work." she explained.

"Cool beans," grinned Sue.

Fletcher struggled up last, with his two huge suitcases.

"My, oh my…" murmured Sue, "Your hair is huge!"

"Story of my life." muttered Fletcher, "Don't even say about how it defies gravity."  
>"Okey dokey," said Sue, "Okay, all of you are done! Have a good flight!"<p>

The all trailed off towards the bigger part of the airport, up the elevator.

"What do we do now?" asked Fletcher.

"Well out flight is at 8.30 pm, so we have about three hours." replied Skulduggery.

Fletcher groaned and Valkyrie looked around.

"We probably need a meeting point." she said.

"How about near the sushi bar?" suggested Tanith, gesturing towards the sushi bar.

"Good call." said Ghastly grinning.

"Well I'm heading to the book store," said China. She looked as if she was going to say bye, but turned away and sashayed towards Waterstones.

"I and Tanith will go to HMV," said Valkyrie, "See you."

Fletcher looked around." I'm going to the internet café." He turned and strolled off.

"House of Fraser?" suggested Ghastly.

"Why not," replied Skulduggery.


	2. Chapter 2

Valkyrie and Tanith browsed through HMV.

"Hey!" cried Tanith, "Beats by Dre headphones!"

Valkyrie and Tanith rushed over to the glass table and eagerly put on the headphones. They were immediately were greeted with "In da Club' by 50 Cent.

"Go shawty, it's ya birthday!" sang Tanith.

"Whoa…" said Valkyrie as the beat thumped through them.

"I need these!" exclaimed Tanith.

In the internet café Fletcher searched random things. He updated his blog to

"Stuck in a flippin air port with people who don't appreciate good hair."

Then went to his facebook page and tagged himself with a caption saying "Jedward aint got nothin on me!"

Then went to YouTube and subscribed to DanWarp.

China browsed through the adults section, and picked up two Walter Sheldon books and smiled to herself; this would keep her going over four hours, together the book pages equalled 1500 pages.

Skulduggery skimmed the clothes section of House Of Fraser, and tried on a cap.

It wasn't his type; maybe he needed baggy jeans…and no sense at all.

Ghastly came back and squirted Skulduggery with cologne.

"Ghastly! I don't want to come out of this shop smelling like a twit!"

"It's nice." said Ghastly haughtily.

Skulduggery rolled his façade eyes.

An hour later, they all sat near the sushi bar, Valkyrie nibbling on the raw fish.

"Can't understand how you like this stuff." said Ghastly wrinkling his nose.

"Aww," said Tanith, "You look so cute when you do that."

"None of the mushy stuff around me please." said Skulduggery reading the newspaper.

Tanith rolled her eyes and pecked Ghastly on the lips. She immediately cried out as Skulduggery hit her with the newspaper. She scowled and took Fletcher's Linx Chocolate he was dousing himself with and turned it on Skulduggery.

"Hey!" exclaimed Skulduggery as he got a full blast. Valkyrie laughed and China sighed and stuck her nose into her book.  
>"How long have we got left?" moaned Fletcher.<p>

"Two hours," replied Skulduggery.

Fletcher moaned again.

One hour later, the crew started toward the flight terminal as 8.30 Malaga, Spain was announced.

"Finally!" yelled Fletcher , swinging his bag in the air, almost taking out girl behind him.

They all hurried to the trams, and bundled in.  
>"Whee!" exclaimed Tanith as the tram set off and Valkyrie pressed her nose to the glass.<p>

"I think I see our plane…" she said, "Is ours big white and say Easy Jet?"

"Yes," replied Skulduggery.

"There's more than one, Val," said Tanith as she looked in Valkyrie's direction.

The tram stopped, and they piled off toward Terminal A.

They all checked in and Valkyrie, China and Tanith wandered towards the toilets and Ghastly and Fletcher went to the males.

"It's so bright in here!" said Tanith looking around.

"The sunlight hurts my eye-ees." sang Valkyrie.

"Did you really have to sing Valkyrie?" asked China before going into a cubicle.

"Yes, yes I did," said Valkyrie going into a cubicle and Tanith went into another one.

When everyone was done, they came out, and Skulduggery said, " We have to go to the departure room."

"Finally," said Fletcher again.

They walked to wards the horizontal elevator, and stepped off and beaming man greeted them.

"Easy Jet to Malaga, Spain right this way!" he cried. "Have a good flight!"

Valkyrie and Skulduggery strode down the tunnel that led toward the plane and Tanith gripped Ghastly's hand and squealed, "We're going to Spain!"

Fletcher walked quickly after them, fixing his hair.

"Do you really need to do that?" asked China.

"Yes, yes I do." replied Fletcher.

They all stepped onto the plane and Valkyrie sat down next to Skulduggery on the right, snagging the window seat, China on the isle seat. Tanith and Ghastly sat in front of them and Fletcher got the isle seat.

"Welcome to Easy Jet," came a voice from the speakers.

"We hope you have a wonderful flight. Please take care to read the safety instructions, sit back and relax and have a wonderful time!"

A woman appeared and began to motion and do actions while the man on the intercom continued

" In case of oxygen shortage, please take the oxygen mask that will appear in front of you, fix your mask before fixing someone else's. In case of emergency, the emergency exits are here, here and here. Your life jackets are under your seats. Directions how to use these are in the pocket of your chair."

This went on for another two minutes then stopped.

"Ever been to Spain?" asked Valkyrie looking at Skulduggery.

"Yes, but I haven't been to Gordon's Villa before…always wanted to." he replied.

"Now you can!" exclaimed Valkyrie.

"Your obviously excited." said China dryly.

"What's not to be excited about?" asked Valkyrie, she lowered her voice, "If the plane crashes, we are sorcerers, Skulduggery would probably fly us to safety or I'll create a blanket of shadows with my ring. Simples."

Skulduggery and China laughed.

"Guys…" called Fletcher, "Can I switch places with China, what if Ghastly and Tanith start to get all mushy?"

"Plug your ears and cover your eyes," cackled Tanith.

"Do you really think they'd give public displays of affection on a **plane**?" asked Skulduggery, shaking his head.

"We do posses a thing called self control," said Tanith rolling her eyes, "Something you don't possess; do you really think we need to hear that your awesome 24/7?"

"Hey, who are you talking to?" asked Fletcher frowning, "Are we not talking about Skulduggery.

"Bit of both." grinned Ghastly.

After a couple more minutes of this Tanith squealed and pointed out of the window.

"We're moving!"

The intercom crackled and a new voice appeared.

"Hello. This is Captain Bolton. Welcome aboard to Easy Jet. We are about to take off. Please buckle you belts and take them off when the red light on your screen changes to green. Have a great trip and a wonderful flight. Thank you."

Valkyrie turned her head as the plane started to move. China glanced out once, then took out her book and started to read again. Tanith started squealing and Valkyrie whooped as the plane took on speed.  
>"Oh please it's nothing to be excited about." said China indifferently. Valkyrie rolled her eyes and the plane began to travel faster. Soon she could feel the pressure going towards her as the plane arched upwards.<br>"Yahoo!" exclaimed Tanith as the plane began to climb into the sky, leaving the runway behind them. Valkyrie looked outside the window and saw Dublin move away from them further and further every second. Wispy clouds began to emerge and Dublin began to turn into a wax pastel painting of green, brown and blue. After about five minutes the plane relaxed and the intercom crackled one again.

"Hello again this is your Captain Bolton. The flight is now stable, you are able to unbuckle your seatbelts (at this, the red light flashing on the screens in the chairs flashed green) and you are free to move about the cabin."

A pretty flight attendant with brunette hair with blue highlights started to hand out earphones. Fletcher took one, plugged them in the arm rest beside him, and began to press buttons in the screen. Ghastly reached in his bag and took out a book and began reading, as did China. After ten minutes or so of Valkyrie gazing out of the window, she turned to Skulduggery and announced:

"I'm bored."

Skulduggery barked a laugh. "It's barely been fifteen minutes, Valkyrie."

"So?" she replied.

Skulduggery sighed and brought out a massive book and buried his fake nose into it.


	3. Chapter 3

The plane flight dragged on.

Fletcher looked around and saw a pretty girl sit down in the sit in front of him. She had galaxy chocolate skin with beautiful brown eyes, and her black hair shone like it should be in an L'Oreal advert.

He spiked his hair up although it was already spiked up, straightened out his top, leaned forward and said "Ever been to Spain before?"

The girl turned around and smiled, "No, I haven't is it nice?"

Ghastly raised his eyebrow, and pretended to look like he hadn't noticed.

"Dunno, I've never been either!" Fletcher laughed. To his relief the girl laughed with him.

"So what's your name?" asked Fletcher, "It's probably a pretty name…like you."

The girl blushed and smiled, "Lizanne." Fletcher smiled again, "See, it's pretty.

Lizanne grinned, "What's your name?"

"Fletcher," began Fletcher, "So…" he trailed off as tall man turned around.

He was built exactly like Usaine Bolt, with the same skin tone as Lizanne, only the glare that accompanied with his face practically had Fletcher poo-ing himself.

"Why, you chattin up my daughter?" he asked stonily.

"Dad, he's not," explained Lizanne. Fletcher's face dropped slightly and Ghastly raised his eyes, looking curious.

"You weren't chattin me up," repeated Lizanne. She widened her eyes at Fletcher, willing him to go on with the charade. Something clicked in Fletcher's head and he nodded to Lizanne's father. He kissed his teeth and turned around again.

The intercom crackled and the Captain's voice rang out.

"Hello this is your Captain Bolton; you are now able to use any devices you may have like DVD players, Mp3 Players, Laptops, or Mobiles. Have a good flight."

Lizanne turned around, to her seat then popped a piece of paper to Fletcher.

He took it and read what was on it. A phone number. Lizanne grinned and Fletcher began punching in numbers on his phone. Ghastly poked Fletcher's arm.

"Way to go Fletcher," he murmured. "You actually got a girl to like you!"

Skulduggery rolled his façade eyes and sniffed at Valkyrie's text.

_Common Skul-Man, when we go to the beach, which we WILL, your gonna get in the sea!_

_**I don't think so, Valkyrie**_

_Yeah u will. Did ya even bring ur trunks?_

_**No, because I'm not going into the water. What are people going to think when they see a man with a face only with skeletal arms and skeletal legs?**_

_Fine we won't go to the beach then…there's a pool._

_**NO.**_

_YES._

_**NO.**_

_**Mm-hmm.**_

China decided to watch a movie. She tapped the screen and decided to watch romantic comedy. 'Couldn't be too bad.' She thought. After all, she hadn't watched a film like that in a long time. She pressed a random one and listened intently as the beginning credits rolled in. She looked on in intent as a deer appeared on the screen. The deer began to run…something was chasing it. The deer got to an opening and…well that was odd. A human had caught it…interesting. A girl appeared on screen holding a random cactus. A dialogue sounded and she watched on, moving her head to a song that had begun to play. The screen changed to a stunning view of trees and eight words appeared on the screen. _Twilight._

Oh good Lord above….

Valkyrie put her ear phone into Skulduggery's fake ear.

"I want to watch this, and I think you should watch it." she said.

"Depends what it is…" said Skulduggery. He put himself in a comfortable position, and then frowned as a girl in a round green costume began walking as from a car view, where a man in a car was talking to her.

Fletcher and Lizanne busied themselves with sending each other text messages. Ghastly looked over at Tanith who was working a device.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Playing a Nintendo DS…" she muttered. "Die! Evil Aliens Die!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Note. My name is actually Tanya, but I made Tanith Tanya cause it was the closest thing, I don't have a crush on Ghastly or anything lol….*CONTAINS SPOILERS***

_**So Fletcher, why do you have your hair spiked up?Xx**_

_Lizanne, I wear my hair like this cause it's cool & unique like moi!_

_**Lol, so tell me more about yourself, got any extra-ordinary talents?**_

Fletcher began typing out a reply that caught Ghastly's eye and he snatched his phone from Fletcher.

"What are you doing?" he hissed.

"Uh, telling her that I can teleport her to KFC and back?" whispered Fletcher sheepishly.

"You don't know who she is, she could be a spy of some sorts!" exclaimed Ghastly, his voice going an octave lower.

"You don't know that!" huffed Fletcher.

"Well, don't go blabbing a secret like that!"

"Fine," scowled Fletcher. He returned to his phone and typed a reply.

_Sorry it took so long, my friend…"_He paused, what should he call Ghastly? _Garrick, wanted me for something, that's his girlfriend Tanya next to him._

_**Cool xxx**_

_Behind me, the girl with the dark hair is Valerie, next to her is…_Fletcher thought again. 'Maybe I should give Skulduggery a really random name…' thought Fletcher._ That's Sherman. The really pretty woman next to him is Ingrid._ Fletcher laughed inside for this.

_**Coo lxx Can you ask Ingrid what film she's watching? She looks kind of bored…**_

_Sure!_

"Ingrid!" called Fletcher in China's direction, "Yoo-hoo! Earth to Ingrid!"

Skulduggery looked up from the film he was watching, "Are you calling China, Fletcher?"

"I don't know a China, _Sherman_, but I need to talk to _Ingrid_ she's right next to you."

Skulduggery's false face frowned. Fletcher rolled his eyes and watched as Lizanne and her Dad got up to go to the loos; she waved at him.

"Fletcher, what the hell are you on about?" demanded Skulduggery,

Everyone looked at him.

"I made fake names for all a you'se lot!" he announced.

"Why?" asked Valkyrie, raising an eyebrow.

"Cause I'm not exactly gonna say your real names am I now?" Fletcher put on a fake voice, "Over here we have Darquesse," Valkryie scowled, "That's Vile over there."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery glared at Fletcher and Ghastly sucked in his teeth and Tanith said, "Fletcher, that's deep,"

"Well, it's distracting me from this…"murmured China as a girl almost got hit by a van on screen, but then a random guy jumped in and stopped it with his hand.

"And you and Tanith," went on Fletcher, "Am I really gonna say to Lizanne that the guy next to me is called Ghastly?"

"Whatever Fletcher," scorned Valkyrie, "You could of at least let us choose our names, you called China bloody Ingrid and Skulduggery, freakin _Sherman!"_


	5. Chapter 5

After about an hour, China changed the movie. She wondered why she had started to like Twilight; the thing about the vampires amused her; they were absolutely nothing like real life vampires, but they seemed interesting so she chose the second film.

Skulduggery leaned back into his seat. The film he watched was very strange. Was that how teenagers acted these days? Valkyrie certainly was **nothing**like the girls in the film. Not once had she gone dozy about boys…he'd certainly never seen her to the 'Pencil Test.' He gave an internal shudder. He was certain he'd throw up if he saw Valkyrie kissing a boy with tongues. Another shudder. Why would you even want to _do_ such a thing? Is it supposed to pleasurable?

Fletcher smiled. He'd actually found a girl who seemed to like him. She laughed at his jokes, she thought he was good looking _and_ that his hair was cool! Fletcher wondered where she was staying. Would he be able to keep in touch? He decided to ask and momentarily lapsed into a dreamy state, imagining romantic walks by the beach…

Tanith dreamt of things. She was walking along London, at night. Springheeld Jack appeared in front of her, as did Sanguine. She grinned, this would be easy. She flicked her wrist to the left and caught Sanguine on the shoulder with her sword , spraying blood and knocking of his glasses. She snatched his straight razor and kneed him in the groin.

"I will never go out with you, deal with it you pathetic excuse for a hitman."

She turned to Jack, "Need I bother with you?" Ghastly appeared by her side, they walked to beach that now loomed before them. She was looking forward to Spain.

Valkyrie yawned and browsed the music section of her screen. Making Skulduggery watch Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging was a hilariously funny experience. She had watched him visibly cringe at the close ups of girls chests and rear ends and saw him roll his eyes at the Stiff Dylans gig. She chose a section and chose a random song. A very heavy base beat thumped in her ears and she saw the album art, the singer and the name of the song. 'Candy Shop'.

Ghastly read his book intently. It was very intriguing. It was called 'Face' and it was about a boy in a car crash who lost his old face. He could relate to it. After all, his face was disfigured with scars and nothing could get him away from that. Good book.

"Skulduggery, how have we left? Asked Valkyrie, nodding her head to the song she had repeated about three times now. She loved the beat, and was getting to understand that the Candy Shop, wasn't really a Candy Shop. Never the less, she liked the song.

Over a hour." replied Skulduggery. He chose to watch a James Bond movie. He found that he could relate to him quite well. Though ladies didn't surround him like they did, (they wouldn't seeing as he was a Skeleton they'd probably faint…) but the action part was good.

"What are you listening to?" asked Skulduggery, his fake face frowning at the shirtless man on the album cover.

"50 Cent."

"I'm sorry?"

"50 Cent, he's a rapper."

"Okay…"

**Thanks ever so much for the reviews, keep em coming! Tell your friends, spread the word! I don't own any of the characters or songs or movies.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Skulduggery Pleasant Holiday: Part 6**

After a couple of hours, Sherman, Ingrid, Garrick, Tanya, Valerie and Fletcher got up with the rest of the planes occupants and got off via the exit; they were in Spain.

"Spain!" cried Valkyrie, "Warm, hot, non-rainy Spain!"

"My, it's so beautiful," said China, taking off her sunglasses to view their surroundings.

"And it's baking!" sputtered Tanith fanning herself with her hand.

The sky was a crystal clear blue and there was no sign of clouds. Along the airport there were green healthy plants and they could see a stretch of land and a big sign read in Spanish and English, " Welcome to Spain," in Lucida Calligraphy.

"Common, children," ordered Skulduggery marching ahead. Valkyrie rolled her eyes, "Shut up _Sherman_." Skulduggery whipped his façade to her, "Watch yourself Cain."

"You guys are like babies!" exclaimed Tanith laughing.

They all strolled through the doors of the Spanish Airport and checked their things in and Skulduggery handed is ID and Passport to the man at the counter.

"Skulduggery Pleasant?" asked the man raising his eyebrows. Lizanne, who was nearby frowned at Fletcher. Fletcher gave his pleading eyes to Skulduggery. Skulduggery sighed inwardly and said: "Yes, but most of my friends just call me Sherman…we all have nicknames for each other…a childhood thing."

"Bien, bien," said the man motioning Skulduggery to pass through.

"What did he say?" asked Valkyrie to Tanith.

"Good, good," she replied. Tanith moved forward, the mans eyes widened and he took her hand, kissed it "Señorita!" he breathed. Ghastly scowled and Tanith giggled. She gave him her pass port and ID.

"What a hermoso nombre you have!" he breathed again.

"Well, I don't think Tanith's a 'beautiful name' but you can call me Tanya.

"Bueno," said the man. Ghastly moved forward and gave his passport and ID to the man.

The man studied the ID.

"Horrible A Medida?" asked the man. Ghastly glared.

"You can call me Garrick. You'd might like to know that was my girlfriend you were chatting up there."

The man looked slightly scared, "Lo siento, lo siento…" he stammered.

"You best be sorry…" Ghastly grumbled.

Valkyrie was next.

"It's German I think…" she explained as the man frowned, "Call me Valerie."

"Habas frescas," said the man.

"Can you say that in English?" asked Valkyrie.

"Cool beans," he replied.

"Ha-ha okay." laughed Valkyrie.

China walked up. The man's eyes became as big as dinner plates and he reached over and kissed China's hand repeatedly. China rolled her eyes.

"_Ingrid!_" hissed Skulduggery, "_Stop it!_"

China sighed and smiled, "Joven no estás haciendo un trabajo? A mablemente me check-in?"

"Sí, sí" gabbled the man.

Fletcher came up last.

"El cabello! Sin gravedad! ¿Cómo es esto." Exclaimed the man.

"I seriously have no idea what you just said," said Fletcher.

The man mimed big hair.

"Shut up." muttered Fletcher as he passed through.

As they passed through the airport, they looked around as they entered what seemed to be a shopping centre with a green fountain spurting water.

"Where's our car then?" asked Valkyrie as she walking in step with Skulduggery.

"The Bentley it in the car park." He replied.

"As if you brought the Bentley from Ireland to Spain!" Tanith said rolling her eyes.

"You're just jealous because you couldn't bring your bike." said Skulduggery shortly.

They got to the luggage area and Valkyrie scanned the rotating panels.

"Mine!" she cried. She moved forward and a Spanish couple got in her way,

"Move it mortals!" Valkyrie pushed past and watched as her suitcase was taken back around. "No!" she moaned, she ran up and was immediately caught in the middle of luggage rotating on the panels.

"Mine mine mine…" she sang as she got her suitcase of the moving panels. She jumped off and brushed past a row of amazing spectators.

"Never do that again Valkyrie." warned Skulduggery.

"Keep your fake hair on Sherman." she replied grinning.

As they all approached the car park, Skulduggery's started to buzz.

"Skulduggery are you buzzing?" asked Fletcher.

"It's the Sanctuary pager," Skulduggery replied, trying to find it while holding onto his suitcase.

"You brought the Sanctuary pager?" asked China fanning herself with an elaborately designed fan.

"Yes..." he murmured, "Aha! Found it."  
>He raised a small black pager and spoke into it, "Yeah-llo, Pleasant speaking."<p>

All was silent.

"What do you _mean_ you need us back?" he roared, scaring a couple of American tourists.

The group sagged,

"You are kidding right…" groaned Ghastly.

Silence.

"And what is _so_ important you need Valkyrie and I back?"

"Aww!" wailed Valkyrie, the rest of the group grinned.

Silence.

"For flip sake, freaking _Scapegrace?_ Can you not handle _that_ human atrocity?"

Silence.

"You can handle it DESPEDIDA!"

Skulduggery put his pager back, "Scapegrace!" he muttered. "Come along my little oveja!"

"Did he just call us sheep." Asked Valkyrie darkly.

"Yes," said Fletcher rolling his eyes.

"How do you know." asked Tanith, "Skulduggery, Ghastly, China and I are the only ones fluent in Spanish!"

"Google translate my friend." grinned Fletcher.

They all approached the Bentley; loaded their luggage into the boot, and Valkyrie took out the echo stone as she sat in the front.

"Shouldn't I, sit in the front?" asked China sniffing.

"Nope!" replied Valkyrie cheerfully.

"I swear there were only three seats in the back…" Fletcher noted.

"Yes." said Skulduggery from the driver's seat.

"So why is there magically a new row?"

"Because there is." explained Skulduggery.

"Okay?" responded Fletcher.

After they all got into the Bentley and Skulduggery turned up the air conditioning they were really off.

"Into Spain and to the Villa we GO!" whooped Tanith.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Skulduggery Pleasant Holiday: Part 7**

"Oh wow, it's so big!" exclaimed Tanith. Skulduggery, Valkyrie, China, Ghastly, Fletcher and Echo-Gordon gazed up at the villa.

The building was big and white, with cream coloured walls. It had a navy blue roof and small little balconies and two huge palm trees framed it. The driveway was smooth and the lawn was clean cut with a rich green colour.

Valkyrie squealed and jumped out of the car running to the boot to get her things. As the rest of the gang got out from the car Skulduggery turned to Echo-Gordon, lifting up the cradle.

"Quite the villa Gordon, its exquisite." said Skulduggery gazing an eyeless gaze at the villa.

"Yes, yes, I often had parties and fancy things like that…good times." replied Echo-Gordon.

Valkyrie took out the keys from her trouser pocket proclaiming, "I have the keys, I get the biggest room!" Skulduggery shook his head and said with a smile in his voice "Gordon here tells me there are fifteen rooms, your going to have to run fast."

Valkyrie grinned and China smiled demurely.

Valkyrie put her hand up to the door handle and they were in.

Inside it was esqusitie as outside. They were in a large lobby with pale mustard coloured tiles. Too the left of them was a large staircase and to the front of them was an archway to the rest of the house. To the right of them was a large oak door leading into the living room.

Valkyrie and Tanith dashed upstairs while Fletcher gaped.

"I don't ever want to leave…" he mumbled staggering up the stairs.

At the top of the steps was a landing with a brown chair sitting neatly at the front.

As the gang looked around the rooms they realised each room had a personality. The room that Skulduggery and Echo-Gordon had claimed was huge. It had a grand piano grand smack in middle. The room was warm with dark cream walls with elaborate paintings of cherubs and all sorts. The ceiling had high burnt red beams and the floor was covered in a patterned carpet. Around the rooms were chairs and sofas and a huge fire place.

"I'm never coming out…" mused Skulduggery.

Tanith's room was a tropical mansion. It had a brown wood interior everything according to the décor. In front of her bed was a large plasma screen and her bathroom was divine, with a big gold bathtub, Jacuzzi and shower. It had small lights on the yellow ceiling and a picture of a hut in a big guilt frame in one corner.

Ghastly's room was very simple with light orange walls and a bed in the middle of the room in elaborate sheets. At either side of the bed were small bright lamps and it had

French doors opening to a small bathroom and a cross like clock was positioned on one wall.

China's was big and airy with cream everything, walls, floor and black and cream furniture. It was very stylish and was decorated with simple furnishings. But of course everyone envied her because her bathroom was literally a pool.

Fletcher's room was blue. Very blue. His bed was positioned in a circle with curtains in a circle round his bed. His bed was covered in blue and white sheets with satin pillows. The carpet was blue with flowers and there was a blue plasma screen and the bathroom was like an aquarium. The only problem Fletcher was facing was the random horse statue near the door.

Lastly, Valkyrie's room was light and very airy with a white interior. Above the double bed was gauzy canopies, and too the edge of her bed was a sofa. The floor was peach coloured tiles and there was a small dressing table. The bathroom had a Jacuzzi and a balcony outlined the room.

"This place is pure luxury" thought Valkyrie. She went out to stand at the balcony. She observed the view. She could see that tropical blue sea and a pale sanded beach ahead of her. There was a squabble of shops and houses across and she could see envious eyes eyeing over the villa. _Her_ villa. Life is sweet.

Ghastly pored over his sewing material. He had to finish Skulduggery's suit for Valkyrie's birthday that was five days away but first he had to take a shower. He vaguely smelt like an airport…

China sunk into the pool in her bathroom. The water was clear and she poured some bubbles into the water. Satisfied and in seclusion, she dove underwater, forgetting everything and everyone. Life was good.

Skulduggery lovingly caressed a brown leaver hardback book. How long had he been searching for this? The original copy of the Sherlock Holmes series.

"How did you get it?" asked Skulduggery, turning to Echo- Gordon his voice wavering with the awe.

"That giant Brobding from Roarhaven gave it to me. According to him, he was there when it was written."


	8. Chapter 8

**The Skulduggery Pleasant Holiday : Part 7**

Tanith sat on the ceiling observing the view. It was quite odd. Everything was upside down...figures. She wondered if she could sleep this way, she decided against it, figuring that when she was unconscious the magic would stop.

Or not... Tanith shrugged then shimmied on the ceiling until she was hovering over her bed, figuring if she fell, at least it would be on plush pillows. She let herself relax and waiting for sleep.

Skulduggery checked his watch. "Where's Tanith?" he asked Valkyrie.

"I don't know, hibernating?" replied Valkyrie, ogling the array of food on the long dinner table. "Gordon, I didn't even know this place had a cook!" Valkyrie turned to Echo-Gordon and a small tanned woman.

"Well, Vivianna was more than welcome to help," said Gordon grinning.

"I was more than honoured...and Gordon pays my paycheck. You would not imagine how easy it is to cook when your an adept." Vivianna chuckled.

Ghastly, China and Fletcher gazed at the food...well Ghastly and Fletcher did.

"Where _has_ that woman got to?" muttered Ghastly. "I'm hungry!"

Laid out on the table was an extravagantly arranged array of plates, dishes and anything else that you can THINK of that goes on a table. Tapas, breadrolls, chicken, more chicken, lobster, crab, noodles, sushi, more lobster, shell fish, white fish, salmon, stew, sausage, shrimp, _more _lobster and churros.

Fletcher took out his iPhone and made a peace sign and scrunched up his face. "Holla at everyone at Instagram!" he cried. He then frowned at his phone, " I lost four followers on Twitter!" he exclaimed. "What about us? What about everything we've been through..." he began to sing.

"Hush boy," China clapped her hand of Fletcher's mouth. Fletcher immediately took another photo and tagged it #Get In #hey sexy lady.

"Hey Fletch, I'm sure your new girlfriend won't appreciate you hanging out with other women," teased Valkyrie.

"What was her name? Desperate...Don't care who..." teased Ghastly.

"I only go out with terrible Justin Beiber look alikes..." continued Skulduggery.

"Hey!" cried Fletcher.

"Cheap?" chipped in China.

"Guys stop-"

"Glen Coco?"

All the teasing reached a loud point when the ruckus was interrupted by a loud screech above them, followed by a stream of cuss words.

Tanith.

**Hey guys, sorry for the EXTREMELY long hiatus. I will be updating every Saturday when I can and when I feel like. This one is short, but it will be coming. Thank you guys for all support! :) By the way. What do you think happened to Tanith?**


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